It's not possible for me to get rid of this memory. Whatever happened this year was horrible.
It made me realised how foolish & useless I am.
It made me realised how my idea of "living the moment" is so utterly wrong; because there are always consequences you have to bear. & YOLO is just pure bullshit unless you really die from it.
For all the mistakes I've made, I am hindering myself from moving on with life - grades & somewhat my feelings for him.
When I think of it I am really ashamed about myself. My recklessness. At 21, it is really unacceptable.
But I'm more than glad to have the most supportive friends on earth who are here to tide through this with me.
Really never, ever again.
& dear you, am I overthinking or are we in the grey? If we are, are we gonna stay this way forever? Please don't be too nice to me, I may misunderstand.
There are so many things I need to get pass in the upcoming weeks. Results, xxx, precept & god knows what...
Please bless me with the strength.
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